Why Would He Cheat On Me?

Men, just like women, are not all alike. So let's not group them all into one category. Some men marry with the intention of being faithful until death and then you have those who sleep with the bridesmaid before and after saying "I do." You should know what kind of man he is before you marry him. This article will deal with the former rather than the latter mentioned. How does cheating happen?

The Christian man who wants to settle down, start a family and do the right thing usually has the mindset that his wife will be the only woman that he will sleep with. However, as the marriage is lived out, things are not as magical as they once were. Both spouses may become overly comfortable and take each other's presence for granted. Before long, each spouse feels unappreciated, neglected and sometimes even unwanted. When a husband feels like he is no longer reverenced or accepted, he feels rejected. Rejection is a hard pill for a man to swallow, because acceptance makes him feel like a man. A husband who no longer feels accepted by his wife has a drastically bruised self-confidence. Because his number one need is to be accepted he will subconscious look for a place where he feels accepted or reverenced.

Through the laws of attraction, the husband will attract a needy woman.  He will attract someone who needs him. This is also what all men want; to feel like they are needed. Therefore, in order to get this need met, a well-meaning husband could end up in a sexual relationship with another woman. Actually, there may or may not be a sexual attraction at first. It is being accepted and needed by this other woman that will make her more attractive to him than the wife who has rejected him. Even if sex is not a part of this cheating relationship, it is the feeling of acceptance that makes him feel like a man again. Husbands know that the wife should supply these needs. They may never sleep with these women, but may commit emotional adultery by virtue of the fact that their affections are not toward their wives anymore.

Many wives are very strong, bright, independent individuals and quite capable of taking care of things on their own. Where some of these wives err is that they stress the fact that they are independent and determine that they don't need their husbands. The truth of the matter is that even if they are quite capable of handling things on their own, wives and husbands need each other. Marriage is a covenant relationship. Each spouse is required to provide what is necessary for the smooth working of the relationship. While we don't have to be dependent, we are however created for interdependence, which means that we need the supply of each other (husbands and wives).

Wives - just because your husband may not be in touch with his feelings does not mean that he does not have any. In order for your husband to flourish as a man he needs to be encouraged, supported, and treated like a king. Build him up, let him know that he is wanted and needed. When you can do this for your husband, there is nothing that he would not do for you.

To avoid cheating of any kind, husbands and wives are advised to not allow each other to go astray. Do your individual parts to make sure that you are meeting your spouse's needs. Cheating does not need to tarnish what God has put together. Allow God to have his perfect work in your marriage-- in each of you. Be patient and loving because God can turn it around. Isn't your marriage worth it?!

By Allen Forbes

Disclaimer: This article is written to help you better understand a husband's needs and is not intended to get you to stay in a unhealthy relationship, where you are being abused. If you are being abused in any relationship seek help from a professional.