Don't Blame ME..."I couldn't, because..."
As tempting as it may be to go there, someone else is never really to blame for your lack of success or achievement. Yes, we often rely on others to help us accomplish various things. As a matter of fact, since no man is an island unto himself, in order for us to achieve some things, the contribution, encouragement, and skill of others is necessary.
If we review the achievements of some of the great minds, such as Bill Gates, Henry Ford and Napolean Hill, all achieved success through others' contributions of skill, knowledge and support. The term "self- made," is not accurate. No man is an island. But, do you have a responsibility for your outcome?
Often when we start new endeavors or even finish up old ones, we look for help from those close to us. When things do not work out, we blame others, we blame circumstances and do not take responsibility for our actions or mis-steps. Consistently thinking this way leaves you stuck in a rut. While you may be right and even feel justified by blaming others, it does not help the situation at all. What could you have done?
If we are to be successful, we must be willing to take responsibility for our own actions, first, and even the actions of others -- as it pertains to our success. Most times, we become accusing, bitter, and resentful towards those who failed us in some way. But, what good does that achieve?
Too often, the blame game runs rampant in marriages. One spouse, or both, blame each other for a perceived lack of achievement in some area, or life overall - in extreme cases! Statistics show that the greater amount of successful businessmen and women cite a supportive spouse as the main factor in their achievement. Yet, this is not happening consistently in all cultures and families across the board. I have talked with countless husbands {too many} that blame their wives for their lack of success. They blame them for not supporting, encouraging or even understanding their dreams.
Sadly, many of these men will join the ranks of older men who are filled with bitterness, resentfulness and regrettably, hatred, toward their wives. Some wives out there can probably relate to the same scenarios. This type of blaming happens in regular relationships, too. The 'blame game' contributes to angry and easily offended men (and women.) We can't allow our dreams to die this way...
The good news is, once a problem has been diagnosed then a prescribed treatment can be followed to overcome it.
Ephesians 4:31-32 instructs us... "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you with all malice: And, be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
Why is this important? Becoming resentful and bitter robs you of your wholeness. These negative energies zap strength physically, mentally, and spiritually. You think irrationally and begin to feel powerless to change your situation(s). Understand this: whomever you transfer blame to, you now give your power to. For instance, if I blame Bill for not graduating and not getting my degree, even though it's now been 7 years... I have given Bill the responsibility for my outcome. When I do not feel responsible, I cannot act in power (i.e. I feel powerless). Powerlessness is the rut of no action, no change, no decision...no accomplishment.
However, when I can accept the responsibility for my outcome, I now have power to create change in my current situation, make a decision and get closer to a victorious outcome. So why blame others for your lack of success and transfer blame? You have the POWER to achieve, to succeed in all of your endeavors. It will take responsibility and courage, but you have what it takes! Remember, God is your strength and you can do ALL things through Christ that strengthens you! Support each other and don't let the dreams die.
See you at the top!
By Allen Forbes
