A Good Husband

Though being a good husband may be a great challenge, you can be a better husband than you thought, by God's grace. Many husbands reach a certain comfort level in relationships where they stop the hot pursuit they once had for their wives. Once a man becomes comfortable, he feels like there is nothing more he needs to do and that he knows all there is to know. This is a dangerous mindset, because if you cannot be teachable, you cannot grow or improve. Husbands need to continually learn from their wives and vice versa.

Men in general tend to think that if they don't know it all they are weak, and weakness in any form, to a man, won't be tolerated. For this reason a good husband should become teachable and remain teachable.

Instead of viewing it as weakness, husbands should look at what is not known as a chance to learn and grow. I have met men who will not admit that they do not know the answer to something. Whether it's about the weather or the space shuttle, they will give you an answer just so they don't seem like there is a weakness in them. In actuality, if someone needs to make up an answer when they do not know something, then that is a sign of weakness.

In the marriage, a wife will feed off of the energy that is given by the husband. So, to her, no energy means that she is not worth it and that you are not willing to give. Wives have a great need to be understood by their husbands and they are affected adversely when husbands refuse to learn more or give more.  Giving is a fundamental part of being a husband because men are designed to give and women are designed to receive. Ephesians tells us that Christ so loved the church (His Bride) that He gave Himself for her. We, as husbands, are to model that same behavior in our relationships with our wives.

Now, as a husband, you may feel like, "all that I do is for her. I go to work, take care of the bills, wash her car. I am an excellent provider and still she is not satisfied." Women are built differently than men. So, while taking care of the car, bills, etc. are important and necessary, a woman still needs personal attention. This personal attention is how she knows that she is the single most important thing to you. All women are different and I do not want to group them into one type. So it will be your personal job to learn what makes your wife tick. This will require you sharpening your listening skills and your perception so that you and your wife can have better communication in your marriage. Remember, when you learn more about your wife, you become a stronger communicator and your wife will become more receptive to you. Making these changes is not always easy but it is always worth it!

Husbands, when you begin to make the moves that cause your wife to feel special, respected and loved she cannot help but respond positively to you! She may not respond to your first, second or even third advance, but rest assured that if you do not give up, she will respond. It is when your wife responds to you that you will feel like a true, secure, respected, strong husband and loving leader in the home. You can have passion for your wife like you once did. She is worth it and so is your marriage!

By Allen Forbes